What about me?

We took pictures of all our kids at East Rock a while back to hang on the wall. My favorite picture is of Savion. Full of character, it captures him. The most telling is probably of his brother Kashawn, unable to focus long enough to actually look at the camera for me to take the picture.

This past week I suffered from a kidney stone. The pain is unlike anything else I’ve ever known. I cried out in pain, first in screams, then in prayer. I asked the Lord to make the pain stop. I then asked to make it stop right away. It didn’t. I then asked for him to reveal to me if sin in my life was causing these stones. He responded by asking me why was this the only time I cried out to him with this much passion and fervor. In my prayers I expect results. I know the Lord hears my prayers and tells me He will answer. But somehow my prayer this night was different. My heart cried out as much if not more than my voice. I deeply desired the pain to subside and I begged and pleaded for that like there was no tomorrow. It had all of my attention and focus. “When you pray for these kids, why does it never sound like this?” I heard. Why was my heart never bent on achieving such immediate results? Why did I never pray for them with such fervor and fury? The Lord had caught and won my attention. My prayers for each kid deepened. Lord, soften the hard heart of Savion. Break the strong will of Kashawn.

When Sunday came around I was excited to see the kids. Excited to tell them I had lifted them up before the Lord. I had looked back through the pictures and prayed for each one by name. I told Kashawn and he smiled and asked, “Really?” Then I told Trevon and Raquan. But there were more kids around. “What about me? What about me? What about me?” Several I’ve now known for only two weeks and barely know their name. I looked at one, named either TJ or DJ, I cant tell the young brothers apart yet, “No, but I will this week.” And I meant it. In a brand new way I meant it. I will not just mention his name so I can say that I did. I will petition before the Lord on his behalf. I will ask God to call him to His name. That he can leave this world behind and cling fast to the Lord.

We pray more for things that mean the most to us. It was easy to pray for my pain to cease because I love myself very well. But the Lord revealed his heart to me that night. His heart is for people and I am to love them like he does. And the best way I can start is by lifting them up to Him.

Ziyun (pronounced Zion)

What a sweetheart. I get great joy walking to her door to pick her up. I know that when the door opens a smile awaits. A few weeks ago while dropping her off the skies were releasing rain with great fury. I tucked Ziyun under my arm and ran swiftly to her doorstep. I sat her down and there was that wonderful smile. She loved it. Next time I picked her up I again tucked her under my arm and ran quickly to the van. That same smile reappeared and a routine started. For a couple of weeks I did this. After a long night I simply picked her up and walked to her door. When I got there she asked if I was sick or hurt. “No sweetie” I replied, “Why do you ask?” She simply smiled. “You wanted me to run didn’t you?” Somehow her big smile grew. Nothing deep. Nothing profound. You just never know what kind of joy your smile might bring to someone.

Kashawn

I must say that I have fallen in love with my kids that I pick up on Wednesdays for church. They make me quite happy. Some make me want to pull my hair out. One that does both is a kid named Kashawn. With his sweet little heart he will cuddle up in my lap and tell me he loves me. He will reach up with his small hands and play with my beard. And then he will lean in and kiss my cheek. And when he doesn’t get his way he will cross his arms and hang his head. He will look at me and declare, “I don’t like you” with enthusiasm. When I push more him he squints his eyes and tell me he hates me. Then I’ll show up at his school and he runs into my arms. His classmates see me and say, “There’s Kashawn’s dad” because that’s how he introduced me. And that’s the cycle. Some days are great with endless smiles and other have endless frustrations as I have the physically restrain him as he tries to punch, kick and bite. Loving him is hard. It takes effort. It takes patience. It takes endurance. All given to me graciously by God. I ask for it to love Kashawn and he freely gives, because He knows what it takes to love me.

This is the life.

Picking up local kids for church is quite a task at times. The young people come sometimes because they have nothing else to do and want to leave home. Many are not disciplined period. They do what they want and when they want. Not all of them are that way, though and many change and grow. One such kid is Raquan. He was never a big problem but little stuff like talking and such. At church lately he has been great. Most weeks he sits with Tom Gilliam. Instead of talking, now he opens his Bible and follows along. As much as hes growing I really wanted to treat him. I picked him up Friday afternoon and I spent sometime with him at the Warehouse as I cooked supper. We then went to the Person football game. During supper he leaned back in the chair and said "This is the life." It made my day. I was wondering if he was having a decent time and he was loving it. When we love God and give our life to Him, He will spend us on others. Matthew 25:35 "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me."

I am a rock star. OK, maybe not, but that's what I feel like when I go to lunches at the elementary school. I find this to be one of the easiest ways to speak to a kid. One of the easiest ways to let them know you love them. You don't even have to say it and they know. But I prefer to. No one else is coming to see them. No one else goes out of their way to show them special attention. Nothing else separates them from their class mates. This simple action means the world to them. This is an action that buys me their ear when I talk to them about the love of God. This is an action they recognize as love. They may not be able to explain it as that but they know it. If you want to make a kids day then visit them at lunch. Make it better and buy them ice cream.

Driving to church on the church van two kids got into an altercation. One had something that the other wanted. When the girl (about 7) wouldn't give it to the boy(just turned 5), he decided to hit her and she cursed at him. When we got to the church I took them to the side to talk about it. Both were mad. I told them both that I loved them. I told them how they both were wrong. I reminded them of my love for them and told them of a better way to handle their problems. I told them again I wasn't mad and reminded them of my love for them. We left and both were still not very happy. During the church service the little girl drew me this picture.

God has called us to love the world. 1 John 4:7 " Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God." Love speaks very loud, even in the form of discipline. Take the time to get to know people and love them. The last thing a church needs is a program. The first thing they need to do is to love people.

A trip down memory lane

I journeyed to Wake Forest over the weekend to see a college friend who has served the last couple of years overseas. It was a great time to catch up with Joel and a few of our roommates. Apparently Joel has missed the snuggie craze. Watching a little football we run in to a commercial and Joel thought it was some joke. Unfortunately Chris had a Alabama snuggie available for Joel to experience. The snuggie is not all that bad but did it have to be an Alabama one?
Anyway, my conversations with Joel were the highlight of the trip. Spending two years overseas on the mission field is a big task. Verses the typical one week short term trip it seems like quite a long time to spread the word. In reality its quite hard to be limited to two years when you have more in mind than just telling someone about Jesus. When you have a desire to tell about Jesus and then make disciples two years seems very short. In fact, Jesus spent three years making his disciples. Joel had to become very intentional with his time. It was essential to seek out ones that were seeking to commit their life to Christ. There was no interest in a person who just wanted to say a prayer and believe that they weren't going to hell.
The word Joel kept saying was sanctification. The process of a believer being made into the image of Christ. Joel desired to lead that. Joel desired to disciple. Christ call us to make disciples, not to get people's names on a church role. I like the conversations that Joel and I were having. Believers being made into the image of Christ. Rethinking anything that may get in the way of that. Would you join us in our mission of seeking Jesus?